MiiSteR Q-an CRosS

afootballreport:

By Anthony Lopopolo

Sir Alex Ferguson lost it. He saw the red card and charged like a bull. He slammed the seat in front of him, pushing a team official out of his way to reach the touchline, looking this way and that, as if searching for an answer. There were none. In a seemingly innocuous attempt to cushion the ball floating over him, Nani collided with Real Madrid’s Alvaro Arbeloa and caught him with his cleat. He was sent off. 

Just minutes before, Manchester United enjoyed the product of Nani’s labour. The winger picked up the ball inside the box and sent it inward, where Madrid’s Sergio Ramos knocked it into his own goal. All the risks Ferguson took looked justified. Wayne Rooney was sitting on the bench, but the manager’s functional players had followed his orders: they sat back, gifted Madrid the ball and struck on the counter with seething pace. 

United were beating their opponent at their own damn game.

And then it all fell apart. The dismissal of Nani, whether it was right or wrong or misunderstood or calculated — Turkish referee Cuneyt Cakir had a good couple of minutes to deliberate his verdict, and brandished his red card almost out of nowhere — forever took the protagonist’s role in the game. It robbed the game of its purity. It conjured questions in a game that had been such a wonderful display of football. The defending was masterful. The play was quick. The game was open, a chess board with all its pieces cast in strategic places by each of its players, Ferguson and his friend Jose Mourinho. Ferguson was winning. 

Then an undue interruption: in the form of Nani, the pride and wind and the concentration that got United this far in the game left the match. Ferguson barked at the fourth official, who just told him to calm down. And he did. He drew that familiar scowl on his face, while chewing his gum ever so fiercely, and gestured to the crowd. Come on! Come on! Get behind our lads, Ferguson said with his hands, fluttering in front of his choir of 74,959 at Old Trafford on Tuesday. He looked like he wanted to channel everyone’s frustration and concentrate that energy on the greater good: winning it. 

But that wish wasn’t granted.

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Friday is shaking its ass and I’m a nymphomaniac who’s viagra has been spiked with sleeping tablets.

Ball until she calls & tells u that u can’t see each other anymore coz her bf found the receipts & is telling her parents.

I read DT’s tweets in her accent

Rick James says the bat in Oscars house was from another murder? By confession?… Jesus has a bigger plan for all of us than this

I despise twitter and how it treats our international guests

Some people wake up early just 2 text “Its time 2 grind , going 2 town” that time its 6am! Yimani

This flippen secretary’s “diamonds in the sky” ring tone and “one another thing” english are going to end me

Blacks love the whole “I’m not your age” story… I’m older than ur father in bed u can ask ur oulady

Gerrie Nel = BEAST

“Premeditation does not require months of planning” *cheers*
Barry Roux I see you

Nel must come back with a simple question. “…If so, where did he think Reeva was?” *Pow* di ilo go bowa

Guys this is not Sokhela and Associates, mize, Barry Roux is doing great as defense attorney and I know coz my sis is a kick ass attorney

So has the hunting expedition found anymore tweets from the deceased? No, yes…ok

Tomorrow some of you will be tweeting “I should have gone” when ppl’s friends are discussing their trips to PE ☹

Ex what what: Premeditated murder, but it could be changed when he is on trail*
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Neo: I dated the a lawyer’s daughter at some point… that nigga was so paid
Dozo: Shuda dated a teachers kid clearly

It’s a well know habit of the South African criminal to gain entry to one’s bedroom and take a dump while you sleep 5m away.

SammyJ: Oscar says he did not plan to murder Reeva. I say Oscartlorenyela. Oscartloretlwaela. Oscaretena mo.

LTido: Sheeeesh! Oscar Pistorius earns R5,6million a year!
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Wenger must just buy a new coach
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There is absolutely nuttin Arsenal fans can say ryt nw, keep quiet & accept that yr team sucks

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#TheLastTimeArsenalWonATrophy - SAFA was bidding for the 2006 FIFA World Cup.
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Bash thinks Oscar is asleep? Jo at Brooklyn u can hear all those sluts from Unilofts getting it on…the men in those cells don’t sleep

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There r actually Arsenal supporters who believed that they would beat Bayern Munchen last night! Lol! :”D!

Niggas are otchea telling us they are leaving tuks… Just remember tht there’s a difference between u leaving TUKS & TUKS leaving u.

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Look, Head & Shoulders is a fantastic shampoo but I doubt burglars will break into a R3,9million house 2 steal a bottle of it.

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“The Carter III” is still a hip hop classic, despite the fact that Weezy is 5-to-finished.

I think Tokyo’s wife divorced him for referring 2 Chad Le Clos as “Cloyd” at the S.A Sports Awards

Question: If Chad Le Clos decides 2 go swim with the dolphins deep in the ocean, will lifeguards, Sipho & Mandla go after hm 2 stop him?

Rape is a reality in South Africa but let’s not forget the Zodwa’s of this cowntry who cry rape wen okes tima them D.
Let’s invest in our young men so tht they don’t become trigger happy okes who shoot ppl when things don’t go their way.

There’s nothing as painful as going thru an exam paper & saying 2 urself: “how am I gna pass this?” as u write ur name & surname. /☹\ I’ve never experienced that I’m just thinking lol

If okes only listened 2 Keith Sweat’s “Twisted”, there wud b less crimes of passion. “But I gotta b strong (girl u did me wrong)” *singing*

#PickUpLinesINeverGotToUse Girl, you know you want that gin! I’m Jabu Pule aka uzonxil’ ulahle.

Can’t help but think things would be different had Mufasa had a Kaizer Chiefs Funeral Plan.

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U knw its love if you’ve ever considered putting Allergex in her Oros so tht she cn sleep so u cn watch the football in peace.

Okes, I’m afraid I can’t visit u if your house isn’t on my way to work or home. R13 per liter is real. Cars don’t run on water.

Just wen u thot the fuel price won’t affect u coz u don’t hv a car - taxi prices will also go up ya bish! It ain’t safe no more. /☹\

Dortmund will be this season’s surprise package in the Champions’ League. I see these okes playing in the final @ Wembley.

Howard Webb is going to officiate the United vs Chelsea game at Old Trafford. Re tlo nyela!

One has to admire the mutual respect between United & Madrid tho.

They cheat on their boyfriends & then they call it “living”. These r the people tht okes will have 2 choose their wives 4rm.

Calls. From True Affiliates…Always make my Night!

I don’t understand why people hate on pro-twerkers tho, I really don’t. Because what they r doing is very beautiful

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I don’t think Bonang cn twerk. This explains why that other oke broke her gate & window.

Studies conducted @ The University of Gambia reveal tht hosting pool parties in the hood is seen as culpable homicide or attempted murder.

I remember when Beyonce showed Oprah the booty hop on her show. I think its only right for her 2 update her with the twerk. Its 2013 chief

This text post was recorded infront of a live studio audience… “Q’s Corner” is a ”I love Bongi Sambo” intiative and it was brought to you by Brookes Beverages

Firstly I would like to wish you mere mortals a Happy New Year… For some of us a new year means new enemies but we don’t mind coz those are the people who make us achieve more… So please simple niggar, do hate!!!

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The next season of “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” will be shot inside Kim’s vagina.        

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I need not justify my existence to anyone! I’m a winning sperm ya bish!!

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